Post 1

Fear

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

― Frank Herbert, Dune

I realize that so much of what draws me into the book Dune is the character of Paul Atreides.

If you don't already know, Dune is dystopian sci-fi novel where the protagonist Paul Atreides is navigating a complicated life as the son of a Duke. Without getting too caught up in the details, Paul is pretty much groomed to become the next Duke of the House of Atreides, which involves a shit load of training.

Part of his training requries him to control his animal instincts --overcome fear and pain-- with his mental faculties, something that demonstrates his humanity.

I was so fascinated by the way that Paul talked about his own fear in the novel. He describes fear as a "mind-killer".

The more I thought about fear in my own life, I realized that it is a mind-killer! So often, when I am afraid --typically in the form of exposure to physical or mental pain-- I realize that my first instinct is to immediately resist or purge the fear.

For instance, I was at the Korea bank and the teller asks me in Korean what I am doing here. Immediately, I wanted to express to her that I was here to set up a recurring monthly payment for my housing & phone bill. But, due to novice level Korean, I wasn't able to say what I precisely came here to say. I could see the agitation in the face of the tell, I could hear the restless shuffling of the people waiting in line behind me.

In this situtation, I just wanted to tell the banker that all this was a mistake, that I'd be back tomorrow with the proper materials --even though I had all materials with me right there in my backpack.

But, before I let this mini, fear-induced crisis to decide my next steps, I remembered that fear is the mind-killer.

I drew a deep breath, and I let the fearful thoughts pass through me without judgement. My heart rate slowed, I got to look at the sitatuion from an outside perspective. Next, I looked at the bankteller, told her in Korean to wait a moment. Then, taking my time, I drew out my phone and putting my thoughts down into a Korean -> English translation app.

The bankteller read the translation and swiftly helped me accomplish everything that I needed help with.

What a wonderful expreince that was. I've been learning lately that controling my animal instincts, refusing to give way to my raging emotions throughout my day, is an incredibly important skill.

With the help of the Book Dune, I've come to the conclusion that fear is a choice, and one that I will have been succumbing to for far too long. I resolve to train myself never to fear, but to allow fear to pass through and over me, and eventually out of me so that in all my actions I remain acting without fear.